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Marriage Counseling: Not a Popular Approach but Why Consider it?

Marriage Counseling: Not a Popular Approach but why should you consider it?

Marriage Counseling - iamjmkayne.com

It’s been almost five years now since the day we exchange vows and life has always been under adjustments based on the new challenges, learnings and discoveries between me and my husband. Recalling the years when I was single, I never thought that God would allow me to meet him away from my own homeland.

Oppsss, don’t get me wrong I’m not sharing about our love story, I’m just having that as an intro to another interesting topic of marriage and family life.

It is sad that the world nowadays has been totally accepting realities of divorce. “Making them easy as if changing clothes”. That’s a harsh sentence right there but it’s becoming true day by day. I know and I’m aware that there’s numerous reasons on why these divorces happen but there should be a better way to approach this than just simply divorcing after a week or even days as per the news I’ve read.

I often hear our grand grandparents and elders this Filipino adage :

“Ang pag-aasawa ay hindi katulad ng mainit na kanin na kapag isinubo mo at napaso ka ay puwede mong iluwa.” Marriage isn’t like a hot rice that when you get burnt you can just spit it out.

True, marriage isn’t made a trial and error. Marriage is created for a bigger purpose. I remember a retreat I attended that the priest shared regarding his interview for a couple who is about to get married and asked them the dreaded question, Why do you want to marry him/her? Most of the time the couples would answer because of love and all other details that still sum up to attraction. And yet the greater mission or goal of becoming a family, raising children and fulfilling God’s promise isn’t a picture.

No Love Story is Perfect

No love story is perfect, because no one between the wife and the husband are perfect. The world nowadays have given a standard in different forms and up to date, love is still the most intriguing, interesting, favorite topic of all times. Being a part of a religious community has given me tickets to a few marriage retreats and one of them has introduced me to a book that I guess a lot of us have read. This was a book that talks about the different languages of love which are applicable not only to couples but to all other types of relationships. And true enough all those things matter. Then again, it doesn’t give us the permit to have a perfect relationship.

Not a Popular Approach

What I’m sharing today might not be the most popular approach to some of you (my readers) and especially to my fellow Filipinos but in the other part of the world especially in the Western countries, this has been an approach widely accepted by the society. I’ve been following a celebrity couple that shared their own experiences related to this and they strongly suggest to find people and/or couple mentors to help you work on your relationships and marriage. As a member of CFFL I have this privilege, but how about those who are not?

There’s quite a long list of concerns that must be shared to our very own brothers and sisters or family members. While some of us might consider counseling. Sometimes sharing our stories to someone, a stranger yet a professional in his/her field may help us go through the hurdles we face in our relationship. True, not so much of a popular approach because couples tend to keep everything in secret until it breaks out and ending into cutting the ties. 

Been hearing a lot of my married friends go through difficulties that might not only be superficial as to basic misunderstandings but a level that requires intervention. A lot of questions and issues that are sensitive topics between a couple that may need a professional input. As a Christian I would always first suggest to open this up to your priest or spiritual adviser and if the load gets heavier I think there is nothing wrong with getting the help we all deserve and that is through a therapy/counseling. Truth be told, some of our confidante might not serve us completely, as they may also are busy dealing with their problems. So it’s helpful to get a help from people who are experts in the field.

Similar to an earlier collaboration I have shared earlier this month (with Betterhelp) is a Family/Couples focused counseling site called Regain.us. A website that helps couples with their concerns and issues on marriage and family life. It’s an online relationship counseling platform that has numerous licensed therapist who vows to secrecy and are experienced with it comes to relationship and marital issues.

To know more about them check out their site: REGAIN.us






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